Faroe Islands

Just a few weeks before my big move to Copenhagen, we went to explore the Faroe Islands. I knew very little about this place outside of whaling, extreme weather and a Mikkeller bar, so I was keen to find out more. Making a change from Manchester, this time I flew out from Edinburgh - one of the most organised airports I’ve been to, and had bonus points for a Brewdog bar. I was flying on the Faroese national airline Atlantic who were serving local beers at a very reasonable 30 DKK. Landing at the tiny terminal, we waited for the bus - the timetable is roughly scheduled to match arrivals and departures. You can get a weekly travel pass for 700 DKK, this gets you on all the long haul buses and most ferries so there was no need to shell out for a hire car.

And the scenery began. I spent the week wide-eyed at each otherworldly view we travelled through. Passing bays, mountains, waterfalls and turf roofed houses, we got off the bus at Hoyvík. After stocking up at a supermarket we found our apartment, passing countless children on trampolines along the way. We were around 40 minutes away from the centre of Tórshavn, but the walk was so pretty I didn’t mind this extra journey at the start of each day. There were also free buses that could get us there in 10 minutes. Like proper tourists, our first meal was a Burger King at the largest/only shopping centre in the country. Walking down to the bay, we found the Mikkeller bar, which will always be my happy place, despite this one having dangerously low ceiling beams. It had the kind of door that can only be opened dramatically, so everyone turns around and stares at the new arrivals. Determined to find another bar, we walked through the narrow streets of turf roof houses and kids on every corner in broad 10pm daylight, making our way to Sirkus to have some Icelandic lager. Around midnight we made our way back through the eerie silence...until a car full of lads sped past and barked at us. So it wasn’t much different from a Friday night in York.  

The next morning, the apartment owner introduced himself and checked we had everything that we need. He noticed that we locked the door and politely said that there's no need. He had a point, the house next to us left their garage door open all week. We then set off for a walk around Tórshavn, this time seeing the turf rooftops and colourful paint jobs in daylight. Walking around the government buildings at Tinganes was like a trip to Hobbiton with their green mossy coverings. Then we made our way out through the suburbs, and in no time we were in the mountainous wilderness. Our moderate hike took us past many lakes and cairns, eventually arriving at Kirkjubøur. This small village of around a dozen houses is one of the oldest on the island. The church was holding a wedding, so the national dress was in full display, and someone had put a young goat up on one of the turf roofs. Maybe this was a good luck charm? Hopefully it wasn’t a sacrifice, either way the little thing wasn't impressed. It was a stunning location at the southern tip of the island, with views into the empty ocean beyond. Luckily we timed it right to get the last bus home.

After an early start, and another picturesque walk into the capital, we got a bus that retraced our journey back past the airport to Sørvágur. We took a ferry to Mykines, the famous puffin island, with a boat ride and destination that was straight out of Jurassic Park. After an initial panic navigating a narrow ridge path in high winds, I calmed down when I realised what the dots in the air around me were - the sky was full of puffins. These chunky colourful heroes were everywhere and I was deeply in love. There were clear rules for tourists on how to respect both the animals and their home, but more or less everyone was breaking these, shoving cameras right in their beaks. It got me thinking - what are you here for - the experience, or the photos to show off? Are the two mutually exclusive? I fully admit I stopped and took photos as well (you were not supposed to pause in the cliffs containing the puffin’s homes) so I guess I’m also a Like-chasing monster. But I like to think I kept a respectful distance. And for what it’s worth, many of the birds seemed all too used to this experience. So don’t forget to follow me on Instagram @HypocriticalBrenda. 

Mykines also offered stunning views of many of the surrounding islands, and we were fortunate to be there on such a clear, sunny day. The puffin area lasted around a couple of hours, so we had a few hours to kill in the tiny island village before the boat back. This small cluster of homes had no cars or roads. We recharged on tea and cake before going on another walk and discovered The Cutest Lambs. One was very curious about us and our sandwiches and made me promise to be a stricter vegetarian. We had a relaxing rest at the top of a hill with views for days, until my fingers went numb. After more cake and beer at the cafe, we took the boat back. I fully did not expect to be sunburnt on this trip, but red faced I was. Opting to walk from the ferry terminal to the airport bus home, we passed a black sand beach with the tide out, with crinkled sand like a giant fingerprint. The runway landing lights were perched up on towers to meet the tiny runway up on a hill, and once again it was disorientingly daylight at 10pm. 

The following day brought us back on the airport bus, this time we getting out at Miðvágur with the aim to hike up the peak at Trælanípan. We made our way alongside the lake at Sørvágsvatn that has a waterfall (Bøsdalafossur) into the sea. There was a charge to enter the trail due to people walking off track and causing damage. So it was once again disappointing to see people doing just that, Go Pro in hand to get that killer photo. Great job guys. A hail storm hit just as we reached the peak, hail on sunburnt face is not a sensation I've had before. Making our way back along the lakeside, we got to see a few planes fly overhead to land at the airport. Eating many chocolatey snacks during our wait at the bus stop, we went back to the flat to recharge a little. At the apartment, we found the owner had left a key in our door, unlocked. Probably another prompt that we didn't need to lock up. In the evening we went to a recommended seafood restaurant called, of all things, Barbara, which was conveniently next door to Mikkeller. After a starter of home baked bread with aioli I had one of the best fish soups that I've ever had, so rich and delicious. And the pudding! Chilled milk chocolate with ice cream on top, covered in crystallised white chocolate. Heavenly. The bill even came in a giant mussel shell. Then it was back to Mikkeller for many, many nightcaps before getting the last bus home.

Thermals and waterproof trousers at the ready, on the next day our destination was the port for a ferry to Nólsoy, the closest island to Tórshavn. We walked the length of the island, a steep start leveling off to marshy lands with a lighthouse at the end. During the hike, several snow and hail storms passed over, but this time I felt better prepared for whatever the sky wanted to throw at me. I was less prepared for being on the final stretch and seeing our ferry make its approach across the bay, and then having to peg it from the top of a massive hill all the way back to the terminal, battling rocky paths and my flailing limbs along the way. I died, but we made it in time. Back in the capital, we cheated on Mikkeller in plain sight and went across the road to Essabar, which had lots of local beers on tap from Föroya Bjór.

Our next day’s journey was to Klaksvík, the second largest town in the country and what was meant to be our first helicopter trip. The national airline also runs a helicopter service across the islands and it's the quickest way to get around. Unfortunately our ride was cancelled due to an emergency, which can happen (either that or bad weather can cause cancellations) so we went there by bus instead. The route took us through islands we hadn't seen yet, and under the longest road tunnel they’ve built so far. The weather got worse the further east we progressed, and was chucking it down when we arrived at the bus shelter which full of intimidating smoking teens. We sheltered in Norðoya Heimavirki, described as the best shop in the Faroes to get locally made knitwear. The produce is pricey, but gorgeous, and all the money goes straight back to the local economy. As I'm facing fierce Nordic winters ahead of me, I figured I should invest in something Sarah Lund would be proud of. That aside, there's not a lot else to do, especially in that weather. The local brewery has a shop, and there was an unexpected branch of Flying Tiger, but that's about it. The jumper and hat I bought were worth the journey alone.

Our last full day was a public holiday, which meant the buses were scarce. We spent the day walking around Tórshavn, through the outskirts and into the wilderness again, eventually reaching a wind turbine farm. Then we went to the Tjóðsavn (National Museum), conveniently close to our house, but probably containing all the history you could read in a guide book. The ticket also contains entry to the nearby Hoyvíksgarður (an open air museum) which was slightly more worth it. Of course we spent the final evening trying all the beers at Essabar and Mikkeller that we hadn’t checked off on Untappd yet.

Conclusions

You don't need to hire a car. We got everywhere we wanted to go by public transport. The suburban buses around the capital are free, and for other buses and ferries the weekly pass is well worth the investment.

You don't need to stay in the centre of Tórshavn. Our apartment in Hoyvík was close to bus stops and a supermarket. Plus the walk was delightful!

Prepare for all weathers. Sturdy walking boots, thermal under layers and waterproof outer layers are essential. You can experience four seasons in an hour! Fortunately we really lucked out with the weather while we were there (mid May), it could have been so much worse.

Self cater food as much as possible, eating out is expensive.

Go to Mykines but be sure book your boat or helicopter transport well in advance. The guides say bring your own food as there's nothing there, but since that was written an enterprising local has opened a well stocked café.

Go to Barbara, you'll want to reserve a table, this can be done on its website.

Montenegro (and Dubrovnik)

We're always on the search for a cheaper getaway. I still know very little about this part of the world, so it was interesting to read up on Montenegro’s history, as well as some worrying recent events. The budget airlines have only just started coming here, so the general consensus seemed to be: experience Montenegro now before it gets too popular. As our three requirements for any getaway are cheap beer, less people and more cats, this felt like a winner already.

This was the first easyJet flight I had been on that didn’t have a announcements in the local language, a language that also didn’t feature on Google translate. I made the typical English assumption that everyone would at least speak my language, and that turned out to be the case. We arrived in Tivat and picked up a car at the airport. Walking through the carpark, the hire company employee gave us tips on where to go and lightly told us “our roads are terrible”. This would turn out to be an understatement.

We were staying in an apartment a short drive from the airport, just around the bay from Kotor. We were promised a kitchenette, but ended up with a kettle sitting on a microwave on top of a fridge. Clearly the only people staying there, the owner spent so much time trying to upsell us to a bigger flat. We stuck to our budget guns and made the most of the supermarket next door. As we could make our own breakfast and lunch each day, I didn’t have a problem spending a little more on food and drinks in the evening. 

Still slightly dazed from the 5am start, we spent our first afternoon walking around Kotor’s UNESCO protected old town. Charming narrow lanes were dotted with shops, bars and cats. The famous cat museum was closed for renovation, but we saw plenty of content felines during our exploration. We then committed ourselves to the steep Old Town Road up to the fortress, the reward being the first of what would be many stunning views - dark mountains plunging into crystal clear waters, with little towns and villages clinging to the edge. On the way back down it started to rain, making the stone path a little slippery, but we survived and sheltered in a bar to get acquainted with the local beer. We then found Hoste, a brilliant craft beer bar serving Fabrika beers - brewed by the owner himself. It was a brilliant find which unfortunately didn’t seem to be open any other evening during the rest of our holiday. We finished the night with a feast at Galerija - consuming a tapas board of meat and cheese to start followed by stuffed squid with garlic potatoes. All this came with a view of the sunset over the bay and the fortress above us lit up. I thought we would have been too tired to fit so much in, but I’m glad we powered through. I’ve been driven around Greece so I am used to fearing for my life, but the drive back on the narrow road around the bay with locals speeding at us in the opposite direction sure was something. Back at the apartment, the local cats were doing backflips in front of the owner’s dog, clearly showing who was the boss.

After a much needed lie in, we started our drive to Cetinje, but immediately got a warning of a flat tyre. After a short detour back to the airport, one of the hire company employees took a look and said it “should be fine”. This would also turn out to be an understatement. Back on the road, we started our climb through the mountains with more amazing views. Cetinje was the royal capital and is a good 10 degrees cooler than the coast. It has the main national museums and you can buy a ticket which gets you in to all five. One of the benefits of still dressing like a student is that you occasionally get confused for one, so we paid only five Euros instead of 10. We had planned to visit the Lipa caves afterwards, but forgot to check the opening times and saw that we had missed our chance. Poor organisational skills. Driving back to the coast, we went to Budva. There was another beautiful Old Town, but slightly more developed and touristy, plus it was attached to a large beach resort with all the standard concrete blobs. It was still just out of season so it wasn’t too busy, and I saw the Greek football team graffiti (ΠΑΟΚ) that appears to be following us around the world, Bad Wolf style. We ate at Konoba Portun, choosing a local cream cheese, bruschetta with sardines, pasta with salmon for me and a big octopus for my associate. It was all very nice but it was the same price as the previous night’s meal and only half as much food. I blame this for us getting some stodgy sweet snacks from a supermarket afterwards. We then made the short drive to Sveti Stefan, with the sun setting behind this photo hotspot -  a fortified island that is now a luxury hotel. Perhaps that was out of season too, as it looked closed up and abandoned. Our approach was blocked by the modern curse of a Pre Wedding Photoshoot, a bride and groom moodily emoting at each other without making eye contact. So much love. Never got the appeal of those things, and definitely not a fan of these idiots getting in the way of my photos. After trying to crop them out of our shots as much as possible, we drove back and tried to make a more coherent plan for the rest of the week.

The next morning we had the double whammy of wasps finding their way into our room and the water going off in our village. Apparently the water just ran out from time to time. Not very refreshed, we made the short drive round the bay to Perast, a one street village with views for days across the bay, including the islands of Sveti Đorđe (a monastery) and Gospa od Škrpjela (a church). Again we easily resisted the urge to pay to Go See The Thing when you can just as easily See The Thing for free. It was a beautiful place, but the small streets were already feeling overcrowded, it must be hell in the summer. Both here and across the country, bar and venue owners seemed to be tearing up the streets and doing other work to prepare for the busy times to come. Tourist buses were doing battle in the tiny car park, it was a mess. We then drove further round the picturesque bay to Herceg Novi, parking on the outskirts and walking along the empty beach front. We had another Stari Grad (old town) to see, and had brilliant views from the fortresses at either end, especially the amphitheatre at the top. I had another “y tho” moment with all the tourists welding drones. Just keep out of my way with your shrill buzzing menace, ta. The drive back to Kotor was reliably beautiful, and we had a few drinks in the sun. That evening we dined at Ladovina. It was empty, but most likely because my eating schedule is always early compared to the Mediterranean appetite. We had a filling meal of squid ragu and local cakes. Arriving back to our apartment, it was thankfully not full of wasps.

The next day we retraced our drive to Cetinje, this time successfully visiting the Lipa Caves. There were fascinating ancient formations, with stalagmites and stalactites galore. We then climbed higher to Lovcen National Park. It totally felt like cheating, but you can (and we did) drive all the way to the top of this mountain to visit the Njegos Mausoleum. The turning point outside the restaurant at the peak was a crowded nightmare. It was weird to suddenly see snow everywhere, defrosting but still very deep. This highpoint naturally delivered on views across the country, while I tried to ignore my fear of heights. We drove through the mountains back to Kotor and experienced for the first time something that would ultimately do in our tyres - the active resurfacing of a road where they expect you to drive around this mess rather than close the road and offer a diversion - which to be fair probably isn’t an option. The Kotor Lovcen road does offer some of the more amazing views across the bay, we could see the airport and pretty much every else we had visited so far, showing how little relative distance we had travelled. After more beers in the Old Town sunshine, complete with sunbathing cats doing their best to ignore tourists, we went to Gastro Pub 702 which earned points for serving Fabrika beers from Hoste, but lost out thanks to another curse - The Screaming Child. That was joined by local kids doing laps around the block on their bikes. Once all the youngsters were banished, it was bliss. We had bruschetta coated in what appeared to be chip spice, and salted grilled squid. Divine.

The first destination on our next day was Bar, which has another Stari Grad. Ignoring the street of tourist tat that leads to it, this old town was more of a collection of ruins, complete with its own army of cats. We then went Ulcinj, close to the Albanian border. A more unkempt town off the main tourist trail, their Stari Grad was a far more quiet collection of hotels, restaurants and ruins with views across the coast. The call to prayers was a reminder that we were in one of the Muslim majority areas. Our next destination was the Lake Skadar National Park, but then we got an actual flat tyre. An attempt was made to fix it using the kit that was in the car, and then we managed to drive back to our hire company at the airport. They “took a look at it” (translation: pumped it up again) but did not have a spare car or even a replacement tyre to give us. There were a lot of apologies, but we were not massively confident that it wouldn't just happen again. Back at our apartment we calmed down with a beer on the beach. That evening we thought we’d try one of the restaurants within walking distance to where we were staying. The nearest and highest rated was still closed for the season, so instead we went a little further to Konoba Bokeški Gušti, sitting on an outdoor terrace next to the lake. We had cheese in oil followed by stuffed calamari, which was tasty to say the least. On the beach by our table the local sparrows had a gang war over the remaining bread.

Our penultimate day saw a second attempt to reach Lake Skadar. We did our best to ignore the boat hawkers and just went for a walk around the edge of the lake. There was no chance we were going to shell out for one of the many trips around the lake that were being peddled, I really question just what extra views they could have offered. For the second or third time, a local guy tried to talk football with me after hearing I was from York. It was impressive that they had even heard of York City FC, as I’m not even sure what minor league they’re in. We found Besac fortress, proudly showing off its EU funding, which offered brilliant views of the lake below. More views of the lake were given during the drive around it to reach the mini waterfalls and canyon at Niagara (yes, really). There was a nondescript entrance that advertised a restaurant more than the attraction. As we left we passed four nuns and a priest taking selfies. There’s probably a joke there somewhere. We then drove on to the capital, Podgorica, which can be described as “skippable at best”. There was an anti-government protest outside the parliament, the police appeared to be filming it so we didn’t stick around. We then drove back into the mountains to the Ostrog monastery. I must admit this was underwhelming as well, especially after witnessing Meteora in Greece. We were treated to a drive back through a part of the country we hadn’t seen yet, especially nice were the mountain lakes near Niksic. However we did have to drive over another extended area of unsurfaced road which made me fear for our tyres. Making it back to Kotor, we had what was probably our swankiest meal at Gallion - so posh they didn’t even serve beer. Sticking to tap water, we had feta cheese parcels to start and seafood risotto for main. We then were sure to visit the bus station to purchase tickets for tomorrow’s destination.  

Running out of things to easily drive to (the north of the country looked beautiful but would have been a seven hour round trip), we got the bus to Dubrovnik. Our small Montenegro guide book even had a chapter on it, saying You Might As Well. I thought Easter holidays plus peak Game of Thrones saturation would make it far too busy, but off we went. The bus drove over more dug up roads and we had to suffer a family of hell children on board. There were two borders checkpoints to cross and we spent a lengthy wait at both, that was even after the driver gave the Montenegrin guard a box of chocolate orange bars that definitely wasn't a bribe. One of our passengers was not let in at the Croatian border and was left behind, looking very distressed. We were over 90 minutes late arriving at the bus station, which as we only had the afternoon to visit was very annoying. The walk from there to the old town was around 45 minutes and easy to do, as I was not spending any more time on a bus. It was predictably busy within the walls, but easy to lose the crowds by turning off the main streets. The best decision was to go up on the city walls. It wasn’t cheap, but most importantly it wasn’t busy, and gave perfect views of the terracotta rooftops of Kings Landing. We were visiting ahead of the GoT finale so it wasn’t a shock to still see it all in one piece. We also managed to do a complete circuit before the rains came. We visited a couple of museums and saw a few other Thrones filming locations, plus the now standard cats all over the place. After several wrong turns we found the Beer Factory and had a local brew. The walk back to the bus station was probably the worst weather of the holiday, but as this was right at the end it didn’t feel too bad. The bus and border situation going back were both thankfully less busy, with the Montenegro side even boasting well fed border cats. Thankfully our tyres held out to get us back to the airport in the morning, and the hire company told us we drove almost 1,000 km throughout our week.  

Advice and conclusions

Go to Montenegro! You won’t regret it. Some of the most consistently stunning scenery I have ever witnessed.

Hire a car but beware the condition of the roads. You might be able to get around by public transport, the buses we did see looked pretty modern. 

You don't need a week - we only did that because the flight from Manchester was weekly. You can probably do the main highlights over a long weekend based in Kotor.

Don't go to Dubrovnik from Montenegro. Border delays eat up too much of your day. Save that for another time when you’re in Croatia. 

Keep passport with you all the time. This is true of a lot of countries. You need to register at a local police station on your arrival, but your hotel should do that for you.

Stay online. Montenegro isn’t in the EU yet so we couldn’t use our own mobile data. We hired an unlimited internet router from the car company for 2 EUR a day. It was a lifeline and such a convenience that I’m used to now.

Budapest & Sziget Festival 2018

Not sure why I’ve sat on this post for so long, but here we go.

With no Glastonbury in 2018, we were in need of an alternative, so we settled on Sziget. Eastern Europe is still pretty unknown to me, so I was keen to see more. Big thanks to Dave (Man vs Globe) for providing so many recommendations for this trip.

The City

We were staying in the NH Budapest City hotel, close to Margrit Bridge on the Pest side. It had all the transport links we needed to get around, and had a few breakfast options near by. Kino Cafe had some filling omelettes, but their catchphrase was “thank you for your patience” - taking your order and getting your food could take the best part of an hour. Thankfully Bubo was much quicker so we ended up there most mornings.

The thermal baths were definitely something I wanted to explore. Thanks to my other half’s reluctance to get out of bed before midday, the popular Széchenyi baths felt like they were out of the picture. A bit of searching and we found the Király baths in Buda - literal searching, you walk past it a few times before realising it’s not a cafe. It’s smaller, more local and most importantly does not allow children - a big plus for me. We skipped the sauna and went straight in the main pool - a Turkish influenced design that felt like sitting in a giant terracotta kettle. There was an extra heated section to the side and an ice bath at the back if you were insane. I left feeling so relaxed, like part of my very essence had been been drained away. In a good way.

We had one evening walking around the ruin bar district in the Jewish Quarter, having a meal at Koleves. There were excellent vegetarian options and good beer, but the service was a little lacking - two requests for tap water were completely forgotten. It wasn’t exactly busy so I’m not sure what happened there. In need of a bar, we settled at Ellato Kert just down the road - a mashup of all the ramshackle late night areas of Glasto. Halves of local beer worked out at around 85p. A film crew was there and we couldn’t work out if we were sat in the background of soap opera or a porno.

During the week a couple of meals were had at Street Food Karavan. Firstly I sampled one of the Langos. It was a filling experience that I probably wanted to enjoy more than I did. Still, it’s worth trying. Then on our last afternoon we went to Las Vegans, I had a deep fried “cheese” creation and my companion had a mushroom burger. Both were excellent. The tables fill up quickly so I recommend getting there early if you want to sit down, and be prepared to overhear Stag Lads brag about last night’s conquests. 

Unmistakably the best meal we had - this probably says a lot about us - was a custom pizza created at Local Korner Pizzeria. I had cheese, olives, garlic, pesto and mushrooms. Heaven. There was also excellent beer, it was shame the brewery wasn’t given more props - the options were called “normal lager” and “IPA”. The guy working there did tell me its proper name and I couldn’t pronounce it, so maybe the simple name was aimed at dumb tourists like me. You were also encouraged to to write your names on the world map painted on the wall. So if you go there and spot Joe & Angelos over York, that’s us!

With our mornings free before the festival, we had time to see most of the main sights, such as getting a bus up to the views at Fisherman’s Bastion, skipping the busy funicular. On one of our first walks we stumbled across Miniversum, a miniature railway world. You get to control some of the vehicles and background actions, it was fun for us big kids. The museum at the hospital in the rock is definitely worth a visit, especially if you want to escape the sun. We also had walks around the Parliament and Margrit island, all recommended. Walking over Margrit bridge at night, you get a strange scene above the lit up parliament building: glowing shapes circling overhead. At first I thought these were drones. It turns out they’re birds & bats mopping up the insects attracted to the lights. Quite a sight. 

We saw a lot, but I got the feeling there’s so much more to see. I think we’ll definitely be back in the future.

The Festival

I’d heard a few descriptions calling Sziget the Glasto of the East, and the comparison definitely holds. The weather was insane, rarely dipping below 35 degrees with very little cloud, and rain holding off until the very last day. Camping must have been torture in that heat, I was so grateful for our hotel room aircon.

The island setting felt both expansive and self contained. It had all the things you’d expect - circus tent, gay cabaret, dance fortress - with things I’ve never seen at a festival before, such as a beach and a Sky Bar. There were a few bottlenecks around the main stage that felt like they could have been solved with an improved layout, but that aside it was always fun to stumble around this festival. Maybe it was a lack of English people (it’s fair to say I have little love for my country right now) but it was one of the most friendly festival audiences I’ve ever seen.

The music doesn’t start until around 3 or 4pm, encouraging you to stay out of the sun. That did mean that most acts got longer sets then they usually would. Accidentally seeing The Kooks aside, I don’t think I saw a bad act. Bonobo was the one I knew the least about that I enjoyed the most - their set built and built to an explosive end. Unknown Mortal Orchestra also went from Spotify Discover Weekly to new favourites.

There were some easy wins too - I was always going to enjoy MØ, Lykke Li and Dua Lipa, and thoroughly did. Kendrick Lamar could have stolen the show, but like a lot of people I left after 30 mins of waiting for him to show up. It sounds like he went on not long after I bailed, but the moment had passed. Props to Gorillaz from learning from Glasto 2010’s revolving door of guests and having a more coherent stage presence. Wolf Alice put Don’t Delete The Kisses in my head for the rest of the week. Lana Del Rey thankfully played the only two songs I wanted to hear early in her set so we could escape the monotone parade that followed. 

Every evening on the main stage there was a different type of party, each highlighting one of the core themes - environment, human rights, anti racism etc. It was a fine sentiment, but there was something ironic about talking about saving the environment by throwing out hundreds of plastic globes that definitely didn’t all end up in the bin or the river.

A few nights were spent in gay mecca Magic Mirror. There was an amazing cabaret that contained show tunes, pole work, acrobatics and opera, ending in a rave. You can always judge a club by the quality of its GoGo Boys. I thoroughly approved.

Something a little different was the Sky Bar - after buying a ticket and waiting for your turn, you get strapped into a bar seat and the whole bar is lifted by a crane 140 metres into the air. We went at night and, bug apocalypse aside, the view was amazing. I’m usually terrible with heights, but I was dangling my feet off the end with glee. The rum helped.

This was billed as a Love Revolution and I definitely fell for Sziget, big time.

Conclusions & Advice

The festival might be cashless but a lot of bars and attractions around the city are still cash only, so keep some currency on you.

Get a travel pass. Our Sziget tickets got us a discount on a City Pass wristband for the week, getting us on every bus, tram and metro for free.

Don’t forget your passport when you go into the festival for the first time. You won’t get your wristband without it.

Don’t use the Festipay wristband if you have a contactless Mastercard that you can use. Adding money to the wristband charged an admin fee each time, and each new top up had to be activated when you went to buy something. This wasn’t fully communicated to a lot of the staff I encountered, so it wasn’t always a smooth transaction.

Go on the treasure hunt to collect all the festival stamps in your Sziget passport. It helps knit the site together, and you get a prize!

Get the boat to the festival at least once. It’s a little slower than the train, but there’s a shorter queue to get in. There’s also a bar which always helps.

Get a taxi back to the airport. Our airport bus was one of the most uncomfortable and badly run journeys I’ve ever had. The driver ended up physically shoving people on board an already overcrowded vehicle, and several of us fell out when the doors opened at the end. Not the best way to say goodbye to a city.

China Part 5 - Hong Kong and Beijing

A combination of sleep deprivation and constipation was starting to get me down, I was drained and cranky. A great mood to celebrate our anniversary!! We got on a self driving train to South HK island, and then a bus to breezy Aberdeen fishing town. Then it was another bus to Stanley which was pleasant enough. Hard to imagine it's on the same island as the rest of the metropolis. Running on empty, we went back to the New Territories to visit the 10,000 Buddhas Monastery, which was pretty impressive but best of all it wasn't too busy. After a bit of a wait, we had a decent meal at mall restaurant. 

After recharging at the hotel, we killed some time on the Blackpool-esque tram lines before meeting my cousin Dom on HK island, taking in a couple of bars and sampling some fine local beers. Neither of us could remember how long it had been since we had last seen each other, but it was amazing to see another familiar face on this side of the world. The Rugby 7s tournament surrounded us with drunks all dressed up like one massive stag/hen do, spilling out of the bars and making a scene. Walking the streets was like a night out anywhere in England (apart from weather etc etc). 

I had a good night's sleep at last, but unfortunately this was our final night. We took in the History Museum, which was thankfully free on this occasion, before finding a cat café. Then we met Dom one last time for lunch at Second Draft, a great Craft Beer bar with brilliant food. It was another example that it doesn’t matter how long you’re apart from someone, you  can almost always catch up whenever. Then it was time to board the shiny airport express to zoom past the many, many tower blocks. We spent our last HK$ on beer and chocolate. I watched Coco on the flight and cried. 

Then we had a shit time. Here’s a freeform ramble on what went down:

Our original flight to Beijing was cancelled and moved back 24 hours, so the airline was supposed to put us up in a hotel. We landed at midnight to find most help desks closed. A woman at the Hainan Airlines desk sent us to the information desk. Information Desk person told us to find the Hong Kong Airlines office on the third floor. These were administrative and not open to the public, and also closed. Back to Hainan woman, who did not want to help us, and basically told us “not my problem, bye”. Information Desk guy, who was well meaning but ultimately clueless, told us to go to another terminal. Arriving at this terminal, we finally found someone willing to help, who sent us downstairs, and someone else directed us to the Transfer Accommodation desk. Onto our fifth person, who rang Hong Kong Airlines. The airline told her “not our problem, bye”. We responded with their email that said “don't worry, we'll provide a hotel!!” Finally getting somewhere. This was 1am. We were told to wait to be driven to hotel, this shouldn’t be longer than 15 mins. 30 mins passed. Then an hour. People who arrived after us were being taken away before us. I burst into tears. Finally we were taken to hotel pushing 3am. 

The lesson is - if an airline cancels your flight and offers you accommodation, don't accept, just book with someone else if you can. And we won’t be travelling with Hainan Airlines again.

Lots of people had recommended things that we should do with our half day in Beijing that we weren't meant to have. Unfortunately I woke up not feeling like doing anything, and just wanting to go home. We emerged from the hotel around midday and headed into the city centre. Tiananmen square and the Forbidden City were both closed, but it meant things were pretty quiet everywhere went went. We walked round a few parks, one with a large lake was pretty nice, plus local and tourist neighbourhoods. However, the previous night had extinguished my spirit. I was done.

We got to the airport and experienced more Hainan Airline fuckery. We had reserved seats, what we thought would give us legroom, but we were told had to pay again for the real deal. We protested, but ultimately I had to do pay up in order to even be remotely comfortable. Then they said they wouldn't accept Mastercard, when that was all I had. I was about to give up, when to just get rid of us they said “for free!” and shooed us away. We definitely won’t be using these clowns in the future.

Our final hours were spent with yet more beer and chocolate. We boarded at 1am, and after all that nonsense I ended up having the most rest I’d ever managed on a long haul flight.

So, some conclusions! It was another amazing trip that was unfortunately blighted by the last 24 hours. If we had gone straight home from HK, as was the original plan, it would have ended on a positive note. That aside, Hong Kong was everything I had hoped it would be, and Macau was a revelation. People always make something better, and seeing Ed & Dom along the way was a definite highlight. There feels like so much more that we could have done, so a return is very likely. But there’s still so much more of the world to see for the first time.

China Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

China Part 4 - Hong Kong and Macau

Our journey to HK started with a little bump, we’d accidentally booked to go to the wrong station in Shenzhen. Thankfully that didn’t take long to rectify, and we made our way through another well air conditioned mentro - boxing gloves were attached to the hand grips in some faded sponsorship. It was a smooth transition across both borders, and before I knew it we were on a train through the New Territories. I’d read about Chungking Mansions and thought god no, that place sounds like hell. So guess where we were staying! In it’s defence, it was cheap, the wifi worked (no more VPN needed) and it was a prime location. But it was also a sweaty cupboard that kept finding new ways to injure me, and I hardly slept during our four nights there. And the photo from the hotel booking website was unbelievably misleading. 

Hong Kong really is London on the orient, there’s so much familiarity. Driving on our side of the road. Double decker buses. Same font on the road signs. People stand on the right on escalators. Many, many little details that made the whole place feel strangely familiar, albeit full of millions of strangers. But these were strangers that carried themselves with a bit more politeness than what we had experienced on the mainland.

We started with a walk around the skyscrapers, then we met a former colleague of Angelos’ who lives out there now, and went for what was probably the best Chinese meal of the holiday in Mong Kok. We finished the evening back on the waterfront, seeing all the buildings lit up.

With minimal sleep, we got up early for a ferry to Macau (pro tip - book your ticket the day before, and don’t forget your passport). I think this was a national holiday weekend, but we managed to avoid the crowds for most of the day. If HK is an outpost of the British empire, Macau is a chill mediterranean city, from the tiled pavements to the vibrant painted buildings. The old part of the town had the same sun bleached urban decay vibe as Patra. It was a another strange experience seeing something so familiar yet so foreign. We spent the afternoon walking from one garden or castle to the next, Lou Lim Ioc Garden being a particular highlight. Once again I could feel the sunburn and once again did absolutely nothing about it. This led to some serious Lobster Face.

Struggling to find a bus, we took a taxi across to Taipa. Starting in an older part, again busy with tourists who seem to all walk up and down one street, we managed to ditch the crowds by just turning a corner and heading for Antonios. One guide book said “if you only eat one meal in Macau, this is the place” and I couldn’t agree more. It was the best food of the whole holiday, beautiful Portuguese cuisine. We had octopus salad, cod fish cakes, crisp salty salmon with white sauce, garlic mash and vegetables that exploded with flavour, washed down with my old love Super Bock. We then took a walk to casino region, utterly bizarre to be in Lisbon one minute and Vegas the next. We took in The Venetian which had a shopping mall in the style of an indoor Venice, because of course it does. Unbelievable opulence everywhere you turn, and very chatty gondola operators. We exited through one of the casino floors, my first time amongst the card tables and fruit machines. Now I never have to go to New Vegas or Venice, not that I wanted to. We made our way to the ferry terminal past other crazy casinos - water displays and cable cars everywhere. We naively thought we could just get any boat back, but seeing the crowds gave me a nagging feeling. Nag confirmed - there were no standard class seats available until midnight (four hours away). To speed things up a little, we splashed out on some first class seats to get us home earlier. Sometimes you have to treat yourself. Got two free beers on the way back and everything.

Our next day took in several locations. We started with what was probably my favourite of the day - Nan Lian Gardens. That was followed by a nunnery, a busy temple, flower and bird markets, cats in windows and Kowloon Park. By this stage, it had started to rain a bit. As we were near the end and hadn’t experienced a drop before now, I didn’t mind so much. However, as it also wasn’t forecast, we were without jackets, so we sheltered somewhere for lunch and the rain had gone by the time we were done.

We went for more of a walk around HK island - this is where all the white people have been hiding, amongst the antique stores and coffee shops. Then it was on to Hong Kong park, which was nice enough, and I made a bird friend in the aviary. The queue for the Peak funicular train was nuts, so we got on a bus and I promptly fell asleep. Waking up a bit groggy, my first experience of the view from the top was on a half closed viewing platform in a shopping mall. The main viewing area was another one of those tourist tat areas, but the view down to the city was pretty stunning. It was also pretty breezy, which felt good on the old sunburn. There was a large queue for the bus back down. Maybe it was the lack of sleep talking, but I was feeling some disappointment. If we had walked up to the top, would that have been better? Would we have earned it more? We’ll never know. Back to the waterfront for it’s big light show, which quite frankly was no Bund display. The night ended on a better note - our block of Chungking had a fantastic curry house which was very popular.

China Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5